That hypothetical question about the 100 men versus the one gorilla is long dead. But until around 8:04 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, John Mulaney versus three teen boys was still a going concern. At the end of April, John Mulaney announced he’d be fighting three teenage boys during the finale of his talk show, Everybody’s Live With John Mulaney. As the weeks went by and more teen boys were given their own fight promo shoots, folks began to wonder, Is he really gonna do it? And now we know. Hell yeah, he was. After a performance of “Kids in America” by Sleater Kinney feat. Fred Armisen, John Mulaney fought three suited teens, and he got his ass handed to him.
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As Joe Mande, Adam Sandler, one of the writers’ babysitters, a cigarette-ripping Sean Penn, announcer Richard Kind, and Saymo looked on, the teens worked together to topple their tall foe. One kid kept trying to go low to either flip or Three Stooges–style trip Mulaney, and that was a great instinct. Once John was on the ground, the collective weight of the teens was no match for one father of two. He tapped out, and Bone Thugs-N-Harmony heralded their triumph in song. That song was, of course, “Tha Crossroads.” If this is how Everybody’s Live ends (and God willing, it isn’t), what a way to go. I’m truly going to miss everybody.
